Dilbert's Words of Wisdom - Use them as needed...
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is
not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing
sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on this and plow into a parked
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be
solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along
8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days
you're the statue.
9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't
there the first time you need him, chances are you won't
be needing him again.
10. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception
11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the
sky and thought to myself - "Where the heck is the
12. My reality check bounced.
13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the
14. I don't suffer from stress - I'm a carrier...
15. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through
16. Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, cuz, like, you're
crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
17. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo...
18. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their
level and then beat you with experience.
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