Dial 1-800-psh-rink

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obssessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

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