53 reasons it's great to be a guy..



1. Phone conversations last 30 seconds

2. You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes

3. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase

4. Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

5. You can open all your own jars

6. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight

7. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind

8. When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every 

shot of someone crying

9. You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you 

everywhere you go.

10. You can go to the bathroom alone

11. Your last name stays put

12. You can leave a motel room bed unmade

13. You can kill your own food

14. The garage is all yours

15. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

16. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"

17. You never have to clean the toilet

18. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

19. Wedding plans take care of themselves

20. If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be 

your friend.

21. Your underwear cost $7.50 for a pack of 3

22. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

23. You don't have to shave below your neck

24. You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every 

night

25. If your 34 and single, no one notices

26. Chocolate is just another snack

27. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

28. Flowers fix everything

29. You never have to worry about other's feelings

30. Three pair of shoes are more than enough

31. You can say anything and not worry about what people think

32. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe

33. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day

34. Car mechanics tell you the truth

35. You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut

36. You can watch a game in silence without your buddy thinking "he 

must be mad at me."

37. One mood, all the time

38. You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself 

to look like him

39. Same work....more pay

40. Gray hair and wrinkles add character

41. Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental 100 bucks

42. You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

43. You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's

44. If you retain water, it is in a canteen

45. The remote is yours and yours alone

46. You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the 

bathroom

47. If you don't call your buddy he won't tell your friends you've 

changed

48. You don't have to remember everyone's birthday and anniversary

49. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected

50. You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is 

funny

51. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a 

hammer

52. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

53. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you 

might become lifelong buddies.