I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she
was doing and she said she was shopping on the internet, and they
asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".
I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back
into itself and for the life of them could not understand why
their computer would not turn on.
A: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
B: "A little. What's wrong?"
A: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she
received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and
the same thing happened."
B: "How did you load the sheet?"
A: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to
read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient could open
it and read it."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. I
asked her what's wrong & she said "If I knew I should have replaced
the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have
a battery for this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I
asked. "No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and
the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door,
I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries...it's a long walk." (I wonder if I would forget I can
still use my keys; I haven't use my car keys in 3 years!)
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day
he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she
told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece
of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank
One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to
type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started to type it
and paused, asking me, "Where's the key for that line thing?" I asked
what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one that looks
like an upside-down exclamation mark." I replied, "You mean the letter
"i"?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large new motorhome was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a
And, one addition from a friend: She's been doing temp work at
various offices. At one place she became the resident expert on the
photocopy machine. One day there was a big backup. She went over to
help and found that no one knew how to stop the copier from "punching"
three holes down the side of each copy. She opened the paper tray,
removed the three-hole paper and solved the problem.
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