Things I learned from children.



If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is

not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound

puppy underwear and a superman cape.



It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four

walls of a 20 by 20-foot room.



When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's

already too late.



Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.



A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even

though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the

movies.



If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball

shoes it does not leak - it explodes.



A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.

foot house 4 inches deep.



Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a

four-year-old.



Super glue is forever.



McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.



No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you

still can't walk on water.



Pool filters do not like Jello.



VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV

commercials show they do.



Always look in the oven before you turn it on.



The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5-minute

response time.



The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth

worms dizzy.



It will however make cats dizzy.



Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.