Things I learned from children.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is
not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound
puppy underwear and a superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20 by 20-foot room.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's
already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the
If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball
shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.
foot house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
Super glue is forever.
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5-minute
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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